The streets of Manhattan are littered with all kinds of cars, and as you might expect, they all have New York license plates. All except for one that is. First, you’ll want to head up to the southwest corner of Central Park. There you’ll find a hot dog vendor that you can interact with. Greet the hot dog vendor 29 times (Iowa was the 29th state added to the USA) and you’ll hear a dog say, “Slipknot rules.” At this point you can keep playing the game as normal, but you need to wait exactly 515 (Des Moines’ area code) minutes in real life to trigger the next part of the secret and make sure you’re standing in this same exact spot
Upon returning to that same southwest corner after 515 minutes. The hot dog vendor will vanish in a puff of smoke and in their place will appear a 1997 Ford Aerostar with Iowa plates that read “GR8 PLNS.” This is your ride. Use your web shooters to hotwire the van and get behind the wheel. Now all you have to do is drive to Des Moines. Some people would suggest taking the Lincoln Tunnel, but I highly recommend heading up to the GW bridge because that’ll put you right onto I-80 and then it’s pretty much a straight shot for the next 17 hours. Bring change for tolls.
Once you finally arrive in Des Moines, use the game’s built-in photo mode to take glorious pictures and goofy selfies around all the famous Des Moines landmarks. It’s a very comfortable and affordable(!) place to live. Consider settling down and taking a job at an insurance company. Rest assured, life is about to get a lot easier for your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Please, visit Des Moines!
[Note: this post was originally written as part of an application for a satirical games site]